still haven’t found what i’m looking for (in me)

I gave five bucks to a homeless guy -- so why do I feel like crap?

Here is why:

I didn’t ask his name -- which is what I do every time I meet someone.

I didn’t invite him to lunch -- which is where I was walking, when he asked me if I could spare a buck.

I didn’t try to get his story or ask him if I could pray with him or ask him if there was anything else I could do for him or introduce myself or anything even remotely civil.

All I did was hand him five bucks shake his hand and say God bless (in response to the ‘God bless you’ that he gave me first). Did I really do anything for this guy?

In the book Schools for Conversion: 12 Marks of a New Monasticism, Shane Claiborne, co-founder of the simple way, talks about how our current models of dealing with poverty in America have failed. The problem is: those who have give and those who need receive, but it is a TRANSACTION based relationship. No relationships are built between the giver and receiver. This leads to a lot of well meaning people who give a lot of money to charities and organizations, but they don’t know any economically poor people!

This is why poverty continues in this country. Throwing money at people does not change their lives, but friendship does. If there is anyone out their who wants to pray for me, pray that I will slow down long enough to create REAL relationships with people rather than just handing them five bucks and walking away.

Comments

[john griffin]

Hey Mike - didn't know you blogged. Ran across this tonight while looking at Cliff's site. I'm Dan Katka's friend - went to a meeting or two with you...

I have been in the same situation a lot. I'm going to try to write about my last experience (about two weeks ago) tonight, but honestly it's hard for me to even make any sense of it.

I know that throwing money at people isn't the answer. The real answer would be to bring them home, give them food and a place to stay - try to show real, sacrificial love to them. My problem is that I have 5 kids at home and a wife to whom first priority must be given. I wouldn't feel safe bringing people home like that. If it were just me, it might be different.

Since I can't do "the best thing" for them, I often do nothing. I feel helpless to really make a difference.

Anyhow, if I can ever put the last experience I had into words, I'll let you know. At least you'll know you're not alone. May God show us a better way.

[paul soupiset]

let's hold each other accountable to right these wrongs in our own lives; to invite the stranger to lunch, to introduce ourselves, engage in conversation, rather than settling for the transcation, which is where i find myself too often as well.

[Casey Burns]

I relate to what your saying, Mike. It is so easy for me to just do the obligatory thing rather than share my life with others and actually make a true sacrifice.